Ram of Leo
by DieForThePie
Summary: After 5 years Howard Link's long time partner, Allen Walker, has died in a car crash. Though their life together has ended, a new beginning starts to unfold for Link as he becomes associated with one of Allen's closest friends, Lavi Bookman Junior. His life of love is twisted into something he doesn't recognize in himself- or in that of what he knew about Allen. LinkxLavi Rated M.
1. Umbra

Author's Note: If you are a fan of my previous works then this one may not be for you. Please regard this trigger warning if you are uncomfortable with topics of death, abuse or dark sexual themes. As a side note if you find yourself relating closely to certain situations depicted in this story I urge you to reach out to someone or seek professional assistance. That being said if you're just a sucker for hurt and angst like me, please enjoy.

Chapter One: Umbra

A world can change in 2 minutes and 43 seconds.

They were crossing the walkway, as they always did when they headed home together after groceries. Home was only a few blocks away, and getting the chance to walk together was a chance to catch the other up on what sort of day they'd had at work and debate what to eat for dinner. Same as always, pleasant as always, another day he could call Allen Walker his. Except this day was different. In mere moments the crosswalk where many a memory was shared became the end of memories to come- it was to become the bridge of Howard Link's nightmares.  
He could still recall the event as if it had happened in slow motion. A car runs a red light, causing a truck to veer in the wrong direction- their direction. He feels a shove and falls rear-first onto the asphalt, catching only a glimpse of silver eyes and white hair before they blur into the shiny grill of a semi. The sound of screeching cars halting in the commotion deafens as Allen's body travels a distance impossibly far for the time it would take natural human movement to travel over.  
43 seconds in- limbs, shoulders and the rest stay in intact as they hit the ground but appear crooked in their collapse. Link watches from a place behind his eyes, far away… This isn't happening. A bad dream, like the ones he'd imagined before and woken up from in a cold sweat only to be comforted in the dark of their room by kind hands and Allen's warm body holding him tight.  
It takes split seconds spreading an eternity to realize the grit under his hands and the bruising forming under his legs aren't a dream. Chaos fills the air, but he can't hear a thing. He can only focus on the still form imbedded to the ground a few yards away from him, unmoving. 1 minute and 36 seconds in Link picks himself from the ground, he runs over and crumples to his knees where his partner lies. Liquid soaks to where his pants meet the surface, the feeling is warm and sticky.  
"A-Allen…?"  
A single silver eye opens partially, the other swelling rapidly and seeping red.  
"Allen!"  
This wasn't happening. Impossible… He doesn't know where to touch, but everything in him wants to hold him close and make this go away. Somehow… Somehow…  
"H-How…."  
Blood bubbles up from Allen's mouth as he attempts to speak. "Ha…."  
"S-Stop-! Don't talk, w-we'll call an ambulance!" He turns to the crowd that's started to gather. "9-11! Someone! Call an ambulance-!"  
The rough texture that could only belong to Allen's left hand brushes against his as more blood spreads across the stripes of the road and seeps into the asphalt's cracks. He looks back towards the young man he'd called his own for five years.  
2 minutes and 32 seconds in, Allen's mouth turns upward in an apologetic smile.  
"Sorry."  
"Allen-?"  
A silver eye turns upward, the expression fades and the froth at the corner of Allen's mouth slows its bubbling to a soupy-still foam. The tension left in the man's muscles slackens and his body goes limp.  
"A-Allen? Allen!"  
Link gives Allen's body a tentative shake. No response. "Allen- wake up!" He shakes harder, though the man's movements have stilled. "No, no, you have to wake up…! You can't leave me alone- not after everything! Wake up!"

 _"Link you don't have to worry over me so much, nothing's gonna just happen to me." The white-haired male puffed his cheeks as he ate another mouthful of cheese crunchies.  
"You have a habit of finding trouble." Link sighed. "Or more rather, trouble finds you."  
Allen laughs, covering his mouth to prevent crumbs from spilling out. "How's that my fault? I'll be fine, trust me."  
Link narrows his eyes.  
Allen casts one of his signature good-natured smiles. "I won't let anything happen to me, I promise. There's nothing that will prevent me from living my life and walking forward with you. Ok?"  
Link resigns. "Ok."  
"I love you, you know that, right?"  
The older man turns away, hiding a blush. "Yeah. I love you too."  
_  
In 2 minutes and 43 seconds the only person Howard Link had ever loved was bones and flesh covered in road dust. Allen Walker was dead.

Link sat to himself towards the front of the cathedral. Allen's casket had been set in earth and stone, six feet below and locked from the world of the living. He recalled the stark white of the coffin, falling deeper and deeper into the crust of the planet, the hole stretching miles beneath Link's feet while he watched the man he had loved be buried to become food for bugs and bacteria.

He opened the palm of his hand, still dirty from gripping the palmful of gravel he had released into the depths below. The sound of tiny rocks bouncing off polished wood still rang in his head, interrupted only by the louder thunk of shovels returning the dirt to its home en masse. He had stared seemingly without blinking as the coffin disappeared and the ground level rose to reclaim its original form over Allen Walker's resting place. A roll of fresh grass was laid over the barren earth as if to blanket the young man in his eternal sleep.  
He had felt numb through the ceremony and service, like a ghost watching from outside the realm of reality. Friends of Allen came to the front to speak words of kindness and share their memories of the resilient man who had bound them all together in a single room. Link had watched on in silence, he wasn't good with words and had spent the time gripping the blank sheet of paper in his pants pocket until it became smudged with sweat and the dirt still unwashed from the gravel on his palm. He could feel stares and make out whispers around him, parts of the crowd uncomfortable with his silence.

 _"He's not saying anything? I thought they were partners…"  
"He hasn't cried once, you think he's ok?"  
"I'm surprised Allen would have picked somebody like that."  
"Poor Allen, he deserved better."_

"Link."  
Link blinked before looking up at the woman standing in front of him.  
"Miss Lee…"  
She gave a quiet smile. "You can call me Lenalee, I always told you that. We're friends, aren't we?"  
"Yeah."  
She sat beside him on the bench, following his gaze to the picture of Allen resting on the altar. "Have you been eating ok?"  
Link put his hands back in his pockets, fiddling again with the disintegrated paper. "I've been eating."  
Lenalee brushed the top of her skirt flat. It seemed short for a funeral, but then again he'd never seen her in anything with too much length. It never seemed her style. "The last time I saw Allen he seemed so happy. It was like he was finally living the life he was supposed to. Growing up was tough for him, but you knew that."  
Link nodded.  
"You should have dinner with Yu and I some time, like we used to."  
Link grimaced.  
Lenalee chuckled. "He only looks tough, he doesn't bite I swear. Much…" Link watched her from the corner of his eye as her cheerful façade fell away and sorrow painted her features. "Oh, Allen…" Tears started to fall over her cheeks and her shoulders shook gently. "I'm sorry, Link… I'm so sorry…"  
Link reverted his gaze back to the seat of his pants. "It's not like you ran him over with a truck, you don't have to apologize."  
"It's so unfair…" The woman wiped a few tears away with her sleeve. "How could he just…? After everything he's been through… After everything both of you have…"  
"You don't have to cry for me." Link rubbed the back of his neck. This was making him a bit uncomfortable.  
"But you won't cry, so I have to. For both of you."  
The blonde man reached to pat her back before second-guessing himself and awkwardly pulling back. "I appreciate it." Though she didn't seem it, Lenalee was a strong woman. Link had seen her carry the hurt and worries of her friends though tough times and always conveyed their emotions for them. A part of him wished he could reach deep down and find a way to relinquish some of the anguish pooling at the pit of his stomach, but nothing seemed to rise. He felt heavy and sluggish with every move, rendered immobile by the feelings unable to surface.  
Lenalee sniffed and wiped her eyes.  
"Don't stay by yourself for too long, ok?" She was staring at him directly now, and Link felt entrapped by the seriousness of her expression. "I know you and Lavi don't get along, but maybe after this it would be good to talk to someone."  
Link stiffened at the mention of Lavi's name.  
"Yeah, I just… I don't know."  
"The past is the past." Lenalee said quietly. Link wondered if she had murmured it more to herself. "He was Allen's closest friend, even if that happened a long time ago…"  
"Doesn't feel that long." Link frowned.  
"Consider it."  
Link sighed. "I'll consider it. No promises."  
Lenalee smiled a bit, though her eyes were still wet with tears. "That'll be good enough for me." She took a deep breath and rose up from her seat. "You should come over. Don't be alone through this."  
Link tried to muster up some sort of positive emulation, but found his face set in morbid stone. "I uh, I appreciate the gesture, I do… I just…"  
Lenalee's bravado fell once more, her eyes sinking to the ground. "I get it. I'll see you soon, ok? Yu and my brother are waiting for me outside."  
Link nodded, watching as the young women garbed in black sauntered with heavy feet out away from the bench and down the aisle. He subconsciously gripped the suit over his chest, feeling a dull pain throbbing beneath his ribs.  
 _  
Allen are you watching…? You're making a nice girl like that cry right now. If you hadn't gone and died she wouldn't be suffering like this right now, suffering like…_

He was back to being alone. He wasn't sure how much time had passed inside the building before one of the ministers walked over to him.  
"Son, I'm sorry, we'll be closing up soon…"  
"Ah, sorry." Link released himself from his seat, feeling unsteady in the legs from lack of movement. "I'll be on my way."  
The minister rested a hand on Link's shoulder, a touch he wasn't sure he felt totally at home with.  
"My son, any time you feel the need to reach out to him and to God, stop by for service at some time." The minister gave a pat before returning his hands to his own business.  
Link blinked. "Thought the Christian thing wasn't terribly fond of people like me and my partner."  
The minister gave a laugh. "Some may still see things that way, but as humans we are ever evolving to live up to God's perfect image. The Lord loves all of us for who we are and the sins we carry, that love doesn't halt over something as trifling as that." He grinned. "Besides there's a lot of ambiguity to His texts, we must read them and decipher them for ourselves."  
Link bowed his head. "Thanks. Take care."  
"And you as well."  
Link walked with lead feet towards the exit, seeing that now it was starting to become dark outside. In his books and the movies Allen would watch he'd always seen it rain during funerals, though the day had been without a cloud in the sky.

 _No tears from God for the likes of us, I suppose._

He exited the church, now on the journey to remember where he had parked his car. As he passed the archway he caught a glimpse of bright red hair to the side of him. He stopped and turned to see none other than Lavi Bookman Junior leaning against the stone wall, dragging on a cigarette. A single green eye turned up to make contact with his auburn ones.

"You smoke?"

Lavi released a puff of strong-smelling smoke into the dying light of the day. "Sometimes. Felt like I could use one." The red head shuffled in his suit pocket, bringing out a pack of Marlboros. "You want one?"

Link held up a hand. "No, uh, thanks. Not my thing."

Lavi smirked. "Still Mr. Goody Two-Spots, huh? Who you being so high and mighty for at this point?"  
Link frowned. "I'm not Two-Spots."  
He wasn't sure why he'd bothered even making eye contact with the red head. The man was an incessant pain in his neck and had been the only point of anxiety for him throughout being with Allen. He straightened himself back up. What a waste of time.

 _Talk to this guy my ass. Sorry, Lenalee._

"Lighten up, man. It was a joke. We could all use a little humor after all this, couldn't we?" Lavi shook the box a bit. "When was the last time the two of us talked? Allen's closest peeps and we can't even have a basic conversation."

"You know why that is." Link clenched his teeth, feeling himself starting to seethe.

"Huh? What you mean three years ago? Man, you hold a fuckin' grudge don't ya?" The red head took another drag off his stick. Link eyeballed him. "My bad, ok? How many times I have to apologize at this point? We were both drunk as shit and it only happened the once. Besides he cried about it after, you don't think I feel bad?"

Link stayed silent.

"Fine, have it your way." Lavi was about to withdraw the box before Link reached out and grabbed it. He wordlessly pulled a cigarette out before returning the package. Lavi stared at it for a moment before tracing the hand held out his way back to Link.

"Uh-?"

Link pointedly put the filter side of the stick in his mouth, noting the strong smell of something like dried figs coming off it. He peered at Lavi's wide-eyed expression from the side.

"Well are you going to light it?"

Lavi fumbled, dropping his own cig on the ground as he clambered for one of his pockets. "Shit-! Uh, yeah… Hold on…"

He stomped the burning ashes out before pulling out a lighter and holding it up for Link. The blonde nervously inhaled the smoked before choking on the flavor and erupting in a coughing fit.

"You idiot, you can't just suck it down like a straw!" Lavi huffed before pulling out a second one from his box and pocketing the rest.

Link caught his breath before eyeing the smoke in his hand closely. The strong fumes of burnt tobacco choked out his lungs and the flavor in his mouth was rank as hell, causing his eyes to water. "It's awful."

"Cuz you did it wrong." Lavi sighed. "You gotta like, suck some into your mouth, and then breath it in." He paused. "Why am I explaining this to you?"

"You offered." Link stated bluntly.

"Fair point…"

The one-eyed red head lit his new cigarette before glancing back at the blonde. Link was staring down the smoking item in his hand, watching as the ash gathered at the end. A light buzz started filling his senses. He put the filter back to his lips before inhaling the way Lavi had instructed. It still burned but was somehow smoother this time, and he exhaled the stinking substance back into the cold air. His mouth tasted like an ashtray, though his head was starting to feel light and fuzzy.

They smoked in silence for a bit as the last of the sunset colors drained from the sky and were washed over with shades of empty dark blues and stranded stars emerged, most of them strangled out by the city's lights. After the cigarette was done, Link felt weak in the knees and slid into a crouch against the cold stone of the church walls. Parts of his body and brain felt numb and an overwhelmingly calm buzz made him feel like mush.

"Is it always like this…?" He mumbled.

Lavi put his butt out on the ground. "Only the first time, don't go chasing that high. That's how you get addicted."

Link took a moment before finding the strength to stand back up on shaky legs. He turned to Lavi for a moment before readjusting his suit and started to head in the direction of his car.

"Wait, Two-Spots-"  
"Link."

"Fuck- Link." Lavi gave a smile, one of which the blonde couldn't read. "I miss the hell out of him. He was pretty much my only good friend, the only one who wasn't a dirtbag anyway."

Link stood still, not sure how to respond to Lavi's words.

"Have a drink some time with me, ok?"

Link felt taken aback, eyes wide in misunderstanding. Was the son of a bitch toying with him? He crossed his arms.

"I'll consider it."

"Plans considered. I'll come ringing."

Link huffed. "Do what you like." He raised a hand in annoyed farewell as he continued his journey to find his car. He didn't look back this time, not wanting to see what kind of expression the red head was making. He shoved his hands in his pockets, somehow only realizing now that the air was becoming increasingly chilly.

 _I need a mint._

2 Months Later.

 _"Link, you're so serious all the time."  
Link looked up from his studies, blinking at the white haired male in front of him.  
"I have work to do, if I don't do it seriously it won't be done properly."  
Allen laughed. Link scowled at the offensive nature his junior was portraying towards him.  
"You're no fun. All day at school you follow me around as my tutor, and here I thought maybe in your free time you were interesting."  
The blonde grimaced. "Not all of us have the luxuries of being interesting. Some of us have to be boring and focus on building the structures all you interesting people rely on so much." He sighed and went back to his textbooks. After a period of quiet he reluctantly looked back at the silver-eyed boy who was now wearing a look of sarcastic disappointment. "W-what?"  
"You're satisfied with being boring?"  
"How am I supposed to answer that?"  
Allen seemed to sweep a look across the library before leaning forward. Link was caught off guard as Allen pressed his lips to his. His body jolted and became rigged, though there was a soft warmth emanating from where the Walker boy's mouth connected with his. He stayed still as stone as Allen broke from the kiss and stepped back and stared at him intensely.  
Suddenly the junior's face broke into a huge grin. "Now you've done something interesting! How'd it feel?"  
Link was a mess of nerves and wasn't able to catch his breath long enough to come up with some sort of retort. "Y-you! What-?"  
"That's all you have to say?" Allen rolled his eyes. "Why'd I have to crush on someone so weird?"  
"W-wha-?" Link grabbed his head, feeling like his thoughts were scrambling in every direction. "What the hell are you talking about!? I'm your tutor- And quite a bit older than you!"  
Allen huffed. "So? You like me back or what?"  
"W-well I…" Link's heart was racing at a speed he couldn't comprehend. "I-I think you're-!" He shut his mouth.  
"You think I'm what?" Allen looked frustrated.  
"I think... y-you're…" Oh fuck he wanted to kill himself. "Pretty…."  
Allen blinked, his big eyes bigger than usual. Link couldn't breathe as he imagined himself drowning in those giant silver pools.  
"BWAHAAHAHA!" The white-haired male cracked up, holding his sides as he laughed.  
Oh yeah, no he was definitely gonna fuckin' hang himself over this one.  
"Link."  
"WHAT!?"  
"Just shut up."  
The blonde didn't have time to react as his mouth was reclaimed, this time with a gentle force that made him want to melt. The musty smell of old cigarettes clung to Allen's clothes, probably from all the smoking his foster dad did inside the house. The taste was different though… It was… Sweet?  
The stink of cigarettes would fade after Allen moved in with him, but the sweet scent and taste always remained. Bu then the essence of Allen was tainted with the smell of metallic iron, and the softness of his kiss was replaced with the broken fractures of bones and sticky warmth revolting from blood spilling out beyond control.  
"A-Allen?"  
The bleeding wouldn't stop, it was coming from his mouth, his eyes, every opening that tore through his lover's body.  
"Allen! Hold on! We'll call an ambulance!" Link looked up to the crowd to beg someone to call. "Call the paramedics! Get some help! Please!" He was met back with faceless stares and the backs of cell phones recording his nightmare come to life. "Somebody!" He looked back down to Allen, blood bubbling out from his mouth and pouring into the asphalt below.  
"A-Allen... Don't go… Don't leave me alone…"  
Allen Walker smiled weakly back up at him.  
"Sorry."_

Link awoke with a start from his desk, heaving to catch his breath again from the nightmare he'd fallen into.

"Howard?"  
He gripped his chest, still getting a claim on his bearings. His breath was shaky, and it took some time to recover it back to normal. Tevak, his coworker, stepped into his office, rushing towards him.  
"Howard, are you ok?"  
Link assessed himself and his surroundings. His desk was a mess of paperwork whilst at some point he had dropped his coffee on most of himself and subsequently to the floor. His clothes stuck to him heavily around his neck, chest and arm-pits, all soaked in cold sweat. He felt nauseous.  
He took in an unsteady breath. "S-sorry… I'm not sure when I fell asleep…"  
"More like passed out!" Tevak gathered some of the papers and his mug from the floor. "You should head home, you've already been holed up in here working through files for 36 hours straight. We're ahead of schedule for the first time in history, but when was the last time you ate anything?"  
Link rubbed a sweaty hand over his face, feeling the physical bags that had formed under his eyes. He couldn't really remember his last meal…  
"I'm fine, it's ok. Really."

"Like hell it is! You stink, go home and shower." The blonde-haired girl's expression softened substantially. "If you push yourself too hard you'll end up following him to the grave. Take it easy for the day, ok? You've done enough overtime, the company's gonna start being investigated for employee abuse. I'll let Tokusa know."  
Link clenched his hands, a searing embarrassment running through his body. "Sorry…"  
"Don't apologize, just get the hell out of here." Tevak turned to leave through the door before turning back. "You ok to drive? I can give you a ride if you want."  
Link shook his head. "I'm fine really. Don't worry about it."  
She gave him one last look of scrutiny before heaving a sigh and stepping out of the office. Link ran his hands through his bangs and over his untidy braid. He resigned himself to getting up from his desk to locate the last place he'd seen his keys and other effects.

 _I'm a mess…_

Howard Link was not sure how long he'd been sleeping on his couch before he heard an unsteady knock at his door

 _Knock, Knock. Knock. Knock, Knock, Knock._

He peered at the door with suspicious eyes before checking his phone for the time. It was one fifteen in the morning, who the hell was here at this hour? He rationalized that any normal person would be asleep during this time (as he had been), and would very likely continue sleeping through a random visit at an ungodly hour. As any normal person would do he shut his eyes again, though found the feeling of being tired evading him rapidly.

 _Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock._

Oh, so they were persistent. Link tried once again to ignore the knocking at his door. Whatever it was could wait until a reasonable time of day. Hopefully at a point where he was at work, so he could avoid any unnecessary contact.

 _BANG, BANG, BANG._

Link got up with a start. Irritated, he got up from his couch on legs that were still groggy from sleep. He peered through the peephole of the door, clucking his tongue in annoyance upon seeing his unwanted visitor. Regardless he opened the door a crack, just enough so that the chain lock was still attached.

"Bookman, what the hell are you doing here?"

Lavi brandished a bottle three-quarters full of expensive looking whiskey, though did so with a flare that told Link the remaining third had not been consumed all that long ago. "You said you'd consider a drink, but ya never rang so here I am ringin'."

Link squinted at the red-head. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

Lavi pulled a weird face before fishing his phone out of his pocket. "Oh shit! Look at that!" He laughed. "Guess I've been up longer than I thought." He glanced at the whiskey bottle in his hand. "Still let me in?"

Link heaved an annoyed sigh before undoing the chain lock, taken aback as the red head all-to-excitedly jumped into the spacious condo. Lavi unsteadily set the bottle down on the kitchen counter before giving himself a tour of the living area.

"Man, I've never been here! That job you got must be real fancy, huh? When'd you guys move here, two years ago?"

"About." Link closed the door behind him before crossing his arms and situating himself against a wall to lean on.

"At least if he's gone now he got to spend some time here, out of Cross's shitty house…" Link twitched at the mention of Cross Marian, Allen's foster father from the time he was eleven until they had been able to move out together after Allen graduated high school. Lavi slinked back towards the kitchen, rifling through cabinets until he found some short glasses. He pulled two down to the counter before turning back to the blonde. "You got ice?"

Link gestured toward the ice machine connected to his fridge.

Lavi clapped his hands together. "Fan-cy! You know most people our age don't live in booshwah homes like this."

"It's not that fancy…" Link mumbled. "If you just stay frugal and save up long enough you can get a decent place." He looked towards the picture of Allen he had above his fireplace. "Besides, I had help."

Lavi followed his gaze towards the picture, though Link readjusted his line of site before the red head meandered his attention back to the glasses. "Yeah, waiters can make some good cash." Lavi spoke quietly, seemingly towards himself more the Link. "Anyways, drinks!" The red head seemed to regain energy anew, a battery which Link had no stamina to compare at the moment.

"You can drink, I'm not really in the mood."

Lavi looked crushed. "Awe, come on! One little drink, what's it gonna hurt, huh? Besides, not like you're drinkin' alone- you got a guest!" The eyepatched man went to work filling the glasses with ice.

Link raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't planning for guests."

"Regardless you have one, so entertain me. That's what a good host does, right?" The grin on Lavi's face was insufferable, and Link mentally calmed himself with some effort as to not become irritated.

The blonde wordlessly closed the gap between them, taking a glass in hand as well as the whiskey bottle. He caught Lavi watching him as he stepped over to the living area, selecting a seat in the arm chair so there would be option for his so-called guest to sit too close to him. He rested both bottle and glass to the coffee table before undoing the cork and filling his glass just so the ice was barely covered. Lavi seemed to watch form the kitchen dumbfounded as Link took a sip, sucking in air at the spicy burn the smoky liquid brought to his tongue and chest.

"Well?" The blonde put out one of his hands in a 'aren't you going to sit down' sort of manner.

"Oh- uh! Right!" Lavi brought his own glass over, offering it with a smile towards Link's direction? "Fill me up?" Link poured Lavi's the same as his, seemingly to the red head's disappointment.

"You always this stingy?"

"There's most of a bottle there, unless of course you're in some sort of hurry."

Lavi took a considerably large sip from his glass. "Not really, but I like skipping the buzz and getting straight down to business."

Link regarded him for a moment, feeling that sensation of fuzzy warmth creeping over him. In the next sip he forced himself to down the remaining liquid and set his glass down hard back to the coffee table, reaching for a second.

Lavi sipped his, eyeing Link with an unreadable expression. "I've never seen you like this before."

"Like what?" Link retorted, filling his glass slightly more than the previous time.

"I don't know, you just always seemed so…"

"So?"

"Stuffy." Lavi smiled.

Link scowled before bringing his drink back to his lips. "Maybe some of us just care more about our appearances than others."

"Allen liked that about you." Lavi nursed the drink in his hand, not consuming it quite as eagerly as he had earlier proclaimed he would. "He grew up in a chaotic environment, so I think something stable like all this-" he gestured towards the interior of the condo, "Was therapeutic for him. You kept him safer than the rest of us could I guess."

Link wasn't sure how to respond. The drink was starting to take an effect quicker than he had anticipated. _Shit, I haven't eaten in a while… That's why…_

Lavi had a careful look on his face as he finished his drink and reached for another. "How you been doing these last few months?"

"I've been fine."

"You don't look fine."

Link considered this for a moment before finally noticing he was in the same clothes he had worn to work, button up shirt, belt, pants, coffee stains and all. He subconsciously reached for his hair, noting that his braid wasn't done and the texture was messy and unclean. A pang of hot regret shot through him in allowing someone to come in his house to see him like this.

"I, uh…"

Lavi gulped his second drink with a far more rapid pace than the previous. "It's ok, I haven't been good either really." His expression soured as he seemed to look at nothing in particular. "When I got the news of what happened, it kinda fucked me up. Like, it was just so sudden… And we're not that old, y'know? And he was younger than all of us… How does something like that just happen to someone like him? I keep imagining scenarios of what I could have done, if anything…" Lavi hung his head loosely. "But you were there, you were the most stable of all of us, the college, the career, this fuckin' place." He slinked back up a bit, meeting Link with a miserable gaze. "Why didn't you do anything?"

Link felt the glass slip from his fingers and thump softly to the rug below, spilling what was left of the watered-down whiskey and molted ice to be consumed by rugged fabrics. He regarded his shaky hands, and felt an intense nausea fighting its way around his belly. The memory of Allen's outstretched hands, pushing him out of the way, then a sickening crunch, then blood….

"Two-Spots?"

"He pushed me…"

Link couldn't see Lavi beyond him as his eyesight only focused on the pale hands of his own before him. Overpowering emotion suddenly overcame him, and he took a shuddered breath through clenched teeth as his eyes began to feel hot.

"He pushed me… out of the way… I didn't see… I didn't see until…" He hugged his arms around his stomach and lost the ability to sit upright, hunched forward with heaviness and grief. "And then he was gone… And I'm still here…"

Rough hands suddenly grabbed him by the front of his shirt and Link found himself being slammed back-first to the ground with Lavi pinning him down. The red-head's usual eyes of playful green were now a dangerous venom color, his face twisted in ugly tones of mixed rage and anguish.

"Why the fuck are you still here!?" Lavi's voice was shaking with dark emotion, and Link found himself unable to move or react in any way. His body felt slack from lack of nutrition and alcoholic poison, glued the floor below his now adversary. "All that time, keeping him all to your god-damned self, spouting bullshit about you'd keep him safe, about how you wanted to protect him…! Why the fuck did he even leave that house if you were just gonna let him become roadkill?" Lavi raised Link up a bit before slamming the blonde back to the floor. "Tell me! Tell me why it was so fucking important for him to stay with you if you were just gonna let him die!? Why? You fuckin' tell me!"

Link had no time to respond before strong hands gripped his throat, enabling him unable to breathe. He sought for air, though found none to enter his lungs and gripped onto Lavi's muscular fore-arms in a weak attempt to pull him off. The effort was to no avail, and the grip tightened.  
"That should be your ass in the ground- Not his!" Link felt hot drops fall to his face and through blurry vision could see the red-head crying above him. The hold on his throat slackened and Link was able to intake some air before Lavi's grip returned. "You think you were the only one who loved him? You think you were the only one who cared for him like that? Who the fuck are you?"  
Link's feet struggled between rug and hard floors, his feet making soft swiping sounds on the floor despite his earnest attempts to break free. His hand reached up weakly to grip at Lavi's collar, trying to find some way to shake the man off as he felt blood vessels pounding in his head.

"I… know…." He was barely able to rasp the words out past the vice-like constriction on his throat. Despite everything before, now he felt warm tears pooling in his eyes, swelling up and then releasing to stream down his reddening face. His body shuddered, and the image of Allen's crumpled body flooded his brain.  
 _Why'd you push me out of the way? Why am I the one left here when there's no one here for me? You were the one with friends, you were the one who had people who loved you and miss you, so why am I here in your place? What the hell did you try and save me for? Why didn't you let me die with you? Why didn't I die in your place?_  
Lavi's hands released him and Link felt sweet air fill his lungs back up, though his windpipe felt ragged as he coughed in between attempts to regain his breath. His hands clutched where he could feel the bruises forming around his neck, though the tears kept coming and he turned his face away so as to avoid Lavi's heated stare.

"I know…" he sobbed, "I know…"

"You're worthless." Lavi whispered.

"I know…"

"You shouldn't be here…"

"I know…"

"Why isn't Allen here anymore…?"

"I… don't know…"

There was a silence between the two of them for some time. Link didn't make any efforts to fight the grip Lavi still had on his shirt collar. He couldn't meet the man's eye, he couldn't be swallowed in the guilt he had brought upon himself in letting Allen Walker die before his eyes. He let Allen die and brought misery to everyone in his partner's life.

"I loved him…" Lavi's words were hardly audible. "I know I'm just a jackass, I could never have given him fancy shit or supported him like you, but I loved him… Doesn't that count for something?"

Link grit his teeth. His eyes wandered from the floor to where Lavi's hands kept him pinned. He felt a hitch in his recovered breathing as he noticed scars poking out from under the red head's sleeves along his wrist.

"I'm sorry…"

Lavi seemed to catch where the blonde was looking and shoved him into the floor again. "It doesn't matter. We're both dead now, right? We died with him."

Link stayed silent.

"If we're dead then nothing from here matters, right?" Lavi rasped.

Link's head suddenly felt sharp pain as fingers entangled themselves in his ratted hair, yanking him back against the floor to meet Lavi eye-to-eye. He had no time to respond as the distance between the two was suddenly closed and an invasive force overcame his mouth. He instinctively shoved Lavi away, this time the red head allowed himself to be pushed back.

"W-what are you…?"

A hard slap struck Link against the side of his cheek, sending the sensation of thousands of stinging needles spreading across his face like hot iron. Lavi looked deadly calm now, the red head was still holding the blonde's hair gripped from the skull with concentrated strength.

"Allen was a part of you, and he was a part of me." Link could hear the words drip out of the man's mouth like sick molasses. "So, if we conjoin in some way we might be able to bring part of him back."

"Y-you want to...?"

"Like hell I want to!" Another rough shove into the floor. "But you're responsible for what happened to him, and I'm responsible for letting you get away with it! We have to atone…"

Link grit his teeth, feeling a sense of fear and dread creep up into his chest. "Y-you're going to… Rape me…?"

"It's not like that if you let me. But you won't enjoy it, because I won't enjoy it either."

"If I fight back…?"

Lavi let out a dark laugh. "How the hell you gonna fight back like that? This will happen either way, so you choose how you handle it. You and I have to be punished for letting him die. Since neither of us seem capable of killing our bodies, we have to kill our souls for what we've done. What better way to do than have two people who detest each other touch each other in ways we never wanted? Anything less we might forget. We can't forget."

Between the harsh pain of his body being knocked against his floor, the ring of bruising around his neck, the hair being pulled from his scalp and the sting on his cheek Link wondered how many more bruises he would have to endure before he felt like he'd done enough to make up for that day. Lavi's words cycled through his head in an endless circle.

 _Dying wouldn't be enough, that would be too easy. I could lose both arms and legs and it still wouldn't be enough. Bodily pain will never be enough, but if I kill my soul and live with those scars… Will they be enough…?_

Lavi once again closed the gap and Link felt an ill-tasting tongue tickled with booze and nicotine drown him in all senses. He didn't push the red head away this time, though he found no energy to move back in any capacity either. It was disgusting and lifeless, how he was now after losing Allen… Out of the corner of his eye he saw white hair and silver eyes looking down at him from the armchair.

 _"You think that will really be enough for what you did to me? You're going to have to endure this over, and over and over again until you die, and even then, it won't bring me back, will it? You're gonna let him do it?"_

Link went slack as he felt unloving hands start to undo his belt and pants.

 _"You're finally becoming interesting."_


	2. Mortuum

Chapter 2: Mortuum

Howard Link did not go into work the next day. He lay in bed, still, watching the clock count hours by as his mind went numb from thought. He was turning the events of last night in his head, over and over again. His head still hurt from where parts of his hair had been pulled, his face and neck had bruised from blunt force and the feeling of fingers gripped around his wind-pipe lingered in the fact that it felt like effort still to take in each breath. His nether-regions ached immensely, and the once warm stickiness he had felt between his thighs had cooled and congealed. He could smell the tinge of iron concealed within bodily fluids clinging to his body. He was disgusting, though each time he moved he hurt so such things as showering felt like an effort he couldn't abide at the moment.  
The events felt like a blur. He couldn't exactly tell where they had started and where they had ended, though broken scenes like a movie reel partially rotted flickered more vibrantly than others.

 _"This is my punishment for you."_

He grit his teeth. The punishment seemed fitting, all things considered. The one he had resented for years on end would be the perfect executioner to perform the atonement he deserved.

 _"You deserve this. And I deserve this."_

What he had experienced was far from the warmth of what he had been used to with Allen. There was no life, no love, only pain and misery shared between two adults living in dead bodies. Soulless, empty, dark and deteriorated. Link swallowed hard, action causing discomfort in his damaged Adam's apple. The feeling of being invaded by someone he despised, of allowing himself to be desecrated… It had felt vile, and painful and… And…

 _Lavi leaned in close, the stink of sweat and blood and cum filling the air and choking out everything else. "You've stopped your silent treatment… Are you… Enjoying this?" His words dripped with disgust.  
The blonde had his mouth covered, reeling from the sensations of throbbing pain and nausea. He refused to look in Lavi's direction, anywhere at the ceiling and the walls… But…. But….  
Lavi moved again and the feeling returned, emitting a small sound to escape his lips, he clasped his hand tighter. He felt tears well up, though refused this time to let them fall. He was feeling… No that's not right… How could he…?  
The hand covering his mouth was pinned and he was face to face with the eye of his attacker.  
"It's because without meaning to I thought of him…" Lavi whispered. "This is all to repay him, so how fucked up would it be for you to get pleasure from someone else again?"  
Link felt him move again and the feeling returned. More horrid than the hurt and invasiveness, this sensation was...  
"Change of plans." The red head strengthened his grip on Link's arms, pinning them down with such force that he had no hope of moving them. "I'm gonna make you cum, like I made him cum. That's more fitting, isn't it? How fucked you gonna feel after someone other than Allen could make you feel good?"  
"Don't…"  
This time the movements changed and though the initial pain was there it was becoming overtaken by something else, something worse… But something incredible. He held back his voice as much as he could, but he slipped here and there, hating himself for every sound and stroke of pleasure. White hot pressure was building up inside him, like when… Like when…  
The pounding became merciless, as before all he had wanted was for this moment to end, now if it ended too soon he felt like he was going to go insane. He could feel it in the red head as well, the motions were different, they weren't sloppy or angry anymore, but thought out and planned for accuracy.  
"D-don't-" The words escaped him before he could help it.  
"Don't what?" Lavi's ragged breath clung to his neck like foul steam. The motions continued to ravage Link, and a stranger took over his body to demand things he didn't want.  
"Don't stop…"_

Link sat up in bed, disregarding the hurt he had all over. He clamped a hand over his mouth as his figure shuddered uncontrollably. He ran from his room to the bathroom spilling what was left from his insides out from his mouth and into the toilet. He retched until nothing more would come out, shaking all over and feeling his vision becoming blurry. After some time, he slunk between his toilet and the shower, clinging onto the seat rim for dear life.  
Who was that last night? Who the fuck was that inside of him making him say those things and… And making him… Enjoy…? The feelings of pleasure resounded in him stronger than the ones he had felt in pain. How could he ever, _ever_ …. Enjoy something like that?  
Link sat still for a while before slowly moving to stand up once more. The smell clinging to him was making him sick, as was the wretched taste of Lavi still in his mouth and the fluids dried to his skin. Trembling, he started up the shower. He couldn't take it anymore, not going about like this. Not with traces of that bastard inside and outside, both mind and body. _  
_

_Link was curled up on the floor, holding close to himself and clenching his jaw shut. In the distance he could hear Lavi zipping his pants back up, standing some ways away.  
"I gave you my punishment." He could hear footsteps heading to walk out the door. "Now you think of something for me." _

As he stood hunched in the shower, watching dried blood rehydrate and stream into the drain below, he clenched his fist and felt resolve build within him. He would think of something, something that would scar Lavi the same way he'd been scarred. Maybe even worse.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Howard, you alright?"  
Link turned in his chair to regard Tevak who had tip-toed just outside the entrance to his office.  
"I'm fine, why?"  
"Just checking in." She let herself in and checked the piles of paperwork that had been organized neatly about his desk. "Look at that! Much neater, I knew you just needed some sleep!" She patted his back and he contained a strained wheeze from where she contacted the bruising he'd acquired from being knocked on his floor one too many times. "You still look thin though, make sure you eat something decent."  
"Tevak, you're not my mom. I'm fine, really." He adjusted his reading glasses and went back to focusing on the project at hand.  
"You seem different somehow…" Tevak put a finger to her chin, giving him a suspicious look. "Have you always worn turtle necks?"  
Link sighed, once again turning away from his work. "On occasion. I haven't had the time to buy a new scarf and it's been pretty cold lately. Anything else I can do to satisfy your curiosity while you interrupt my work?"  
"Jeez, and here I was worried about you." She pouted before stepping back towards the door. "You've been more talkative lately. I'm glad to see you seem to be feeling better. I'll let Tokusa know you're good for some more over time."  
"W-wait, what?"  
The blonde girl gave a quick thumbs-up before disappearing down the hallway and leaving Link to wonder exactly how serious she was. He subconsciously readjusted the collar of his turtleneck, finding it to be at the level it needed to be to cover up the bruising. His face was only lightly discolored, and he'd been able to explain it away with a story about falling off a stepladder at home. His neck however… He didn't want to have to describe anything unnecessary or give someone the wrong idea. He shook his head, clearing away distracting thoughts before he pondered on them too long.

A week passed in this fashion. He kept up appearances at work, though found himself avoiding home somewhat after work was done. His manager, Tokusa had invited him out to eat one night and he accepted while grateful for a chance to stay out of his condo. When he was alone he'd meander the streets, looking into shops and remembering the places Allen had liked to eat. At times it felt like Allen was still there with him, he'd glimpse a blur of white and silver out of the corner of his eye only to have the image disappear as soon as he turned to look.  
He didn't sleep well during the nights, and when he did it felt as though a sound in the house would wake him easily. At times he could swear a door was closing, or a cabinet would be left open that he could have remembered keeping closed. A sense of paranoia had started to root in his subconscious. He was always wary of knocks at the door, and had thrown away the glasses left out that evening, as well as the rug stained in whiskey and other unspeakable substances. He'd wake up with a pounding heart and the sensation that if he didn't run he was going to die. In these instances, he'd become short of breath, chest constricted in panic, and it was in these moments that he swore he could hear Allen's voice.

" _You really let him mess you up that bad? I thought you were ready to accept your 'punishment'?"  
"You even begged him to finish you off, what sort of shit are you into, anyhow?"  
"Gonna keep playing nice with everyone around you, even though your soul has left your body?"  
"That's so hard, If only I was still alive, this wouldn't be happening to you."  
_  
It became hard to tell which points were now paranoia and which were reality. The two seemed to melt into each other until each one became a disfigurement of what he used to know. These happenings would occur at work, like at Allen's funeral he felt far away like an outsider looking in. He was watching his coworkers go about their simple lives through a lens, one he also used to continue the machine that was his working body. He'd stay behind his lens through most of his days, though upon entering his home the glass would break, and reality came fuming in like choking dust. It was in here he faced the truth of everything, night after night. The pictures of Allen, the mirrors he couldn't look into, the sense that something in there was looming up the walls and ceilings, waiting to swallow him. When he came home the brighter tinged experiences at work had no hold there, and he wondered how long before the black emotions of this new prison would follow him into daylight.  
He tried not to dwell on it too much, but Howard Link wondered if he was becoming unstable.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 _The metallic smell of blood permeated everything in the air around him and he could hear the distinct crunch of breaking bones somewhere in the background. The area was dark, and he could barely see, but ahead of him he caught sight of a familiar form._

"Allen?"

 _Silver eyes turned to meet him, the star-shaped scar on the left side of the man's face seemed to stand out amongst the dim surroundings. He smiled._

"Allen!" Link ran over, stopping short just before his partner. He was close enough to touch him… If he could just…. If he was closer he could...

 _He struggled against an invisible force, unable to reach out to his lost love. His fingers stretched out towards Allen's face, though the centimeter between them refused to close. The white-haired male's smile became one of soft sadness._

"You can't touch me, Howard. No matter how much you want to, or how badly I want you to. I've gone somewhere you can't follow."

"Let me come with you!" He pushed harder, though to no avail. "There's nothing in this world for me without you! I can't…" His face twisted in anguish and a wave of desperate sorrow overcame him. "I can't bear to stay here any longer… Not without you…"

"Howard…" Allen reached a hand forward as if to cup Link's cheek, though no touch was felt as it remained a hair's breath away. "There's always a part of me here with you. There's a part of me in him and in those I was close to as well, I've laid out all the pieces, you just have to assemble them."

"How could you be close to someone like that?" Link spat, and to the side he saw Lavi standing with a severe face and his arms crossed. "Someone like him… It isn't like you!"

Allen returned his hand to his side, meeting Link's gaze with that same gentle sadness. "You've done things and let things happen to you that you would never have done or let happen due to your mourning of me." The young man turned to look at Lavi. "He loved me too, but unlike you he never got to have me in the way he wanted. He'll never know me the way he desired to. The way you were able to." Allen shrugged, and his expression turned to one of sympathy. "I know it's a lot to ask, but try to understand him. You're both so desperate to hurt each other and bring me back in some way, but I protected you because I cared about you, I cared about Lavi too and would have done the same for him."

Link relaxed his arms to his side, regarding the red head to the side. "Did you… Love him…?"

Allen sighed. "How am I supposed to answer that? I'm dead, aren't I?" He held a hand out towards Lavi. "You'll have to ask him. There are parts of me that I only gave to you, and parts I only gave to him. The two of you will have to fill in the blanks."

"Is that the only way… To bring you back somehow?" Link hugged to himself, dreading any future contact with Lavi Bookman Junior.

"I'm just a ghost, I can't come back. But my memory isn't whole with just one or the other. It resides in both of you."

Lavi disappeared into the darkness, it had been as if he was behind some sort of wall where they could see him, but he'd been unable to see them. The shadows creeped up passed where the red head had stood and started to engulf both Link and Allen as well.

"Wait-! Don't leave!" Link tried to rush forward, though his legs were lodged in the sticky form of the rising shadows.

"Put me back together. Maybe then the two of you will understand each other, and understand me a little better."

Link's eyes opened to find himself on the ground. He blinked a few times, his vision blurry and his body feeling weak.

"Thank God, he's awake!"

Tevak was over him, holding a pamphlet like she had been fanning him with it. He felt papers underneath him and realized in horror he was in the conference room with Tokusa and his district manager, Madarao, as well. Papers scattered beneath him and all around.

 _Shit- We were in a meeting…_

"Link, you ok?" Tokusa bent down to his level. "You just sort of collapsed! We thought about calling an ambulance but Madarao told us to wait a bit…"

Link swallowed before attempting to get up "I think… I think I'm ok…" He paused as he began to figure out his body wasn't moving the way he wanted it to. A hand covered his forehead and he went stiff from discomfort at the touch.

"He's really hot…" Tevak turned back to the others. "I think he has a fever."

"No, no I'm good-"

"A fever? Well we can't have that." Link was cut off by Madarao's smooth tone of voice. "Tevak, drive him and his car back home. I'll call a ride to pick you up."

"Guys-"

"On it!" Link was cut off once more, this time by Tevak. She eagerly started to assist him back to his feet with the help of Tokusa. His pride burned with fire-like intensity, though at the moment he couldn't tell if it was entirely from embarrassment or his rise in body temperature he'd been ignoring up to now. He clenched his jaw and reluctantly allowed his peers to help walk him out of the building and to where his car was parked.

"Ok, from here I'm fine, really." He took an unsteady step on his own, putting his hands up to attempt to prove his point only to have all strength leave him and feel Tevak support him once more.

"No can do." Tokusa had a sarcastic smirk on his face. "The boss told us to help you home, none of us feel like getting written up."

Link huffed in frustration. He could feel the image he had built up being torn to shreds. Apparently, the issues he'd been dealing with at home were starting to bleed into the atmosphere of where he worked as well…

"Now, now. Don't pull a face like that. Oh-!" Tokusa reached into his pants pocket, removing his phone and peering at it for a moment. "Madarao says you have to take a mandatory paid week of absence!"

"That's nonsense." Link grit.

"He's our boss, you have to do what he says. Lucky, you!" Tokusa grinned childishly. "Wish I could take a week off. Enjoy!"

"Enjoy, my ass!" Link snapped as Tokusa tutted him and pushed him into the passenger seat of his own vehicle. Tokusa was enjoying this far too much, and he slunk against the window in defeat as Tevak let herself into the driver's seat to start the car.

"You've been pushing yourself too hard, just like I thought…" The blonde woman murmured under her breath, making Link wonder if she had meant for him to hear her. She turned the key, igniting the engine to life as Link felt like he was melting the cold glass of this window. Now that he was focusing on it, he felt weak all over, in his legs, arms, chest and breath… How miserably insulting to his professional image.

The drive to his condo was filled with uncomfortable silence. He took note of Tevak glancing over at him occasionally, though tried not to react in any way as if he hadn't seen it. Every part of him wanted to be out of this awkward situation, it was mortifying to rely on the girl to drive him over while he was in this condition.

 _"You can't go into work like that!" Allen had an exasperated look on his face as he blocked Link from exiting the door. "Honestly, think this through. You're gonna get everyone else sick, that's not fair to them, now is it?"  
Link lingered before his partner, swaying slightly on unsteady feet. "It's not that… Big of a deal." He'd been dealing with fits of fever and vomiting through the night, most likely having caught some sort of bug. He wasn't one to call out sick, and there was a huge project due.  
"Go lie down, you're not allowed to leave the house, I said so." Allen crossed his arms and dressed a look of mock sternness.  
Link was hunched and met silver eyes with a stubborn gaze conveying that he didn't want to hear it.  
"You heard me!" Allen puffed his cheeks and lightly shoved the blonde away from the door. "What are you gonna do once you get there? Puke all over the desk?"  
Though he was pale and beaded with a cold sweat the older man huffed in resignation, attempting to keep his pride about him as Allen continued to push him towards the room.  
"You're lucky I have the day off." Allen chided. "A big idiot like you leaving the house in your condition? Good thing I'm here to stop you!"  
Link groaned.  
"The more you complain the more I'm gonna baby you, so get your ass to bed before I swaddle you."_

Link smiled at the memory before fading out they sped down the freeway.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Warm sheets enveloped him as he stirred slightly under the covers. When had he…? He carefully leaned himself up, though felt hot and sluggish in his movements. His head was heavy, and his vision wasn't adjusting as it normally would in a healthy body. He was… Home? He hadn't recalled entering the condo after Tevak had dropped him off, though somehow, he was here. He was still in his work clothes and he hadn't undone his braid before lying down as he would normally do, leaving it a disheveled mess. He swallowed hard, feeling an intense thirst.

 _Hydrate…_

He peeled the covers away from himself, feeling quite brisk as his fevered temperature was met with that of his slightly chilly room. He was still a bit shaky, though was able to walk himself towards the kitchen. Upon looking out his bedroom door he noticed a lamp was on in the living room. Had he left it on when coming in…?

Cautiously he opened the door the rest of the way, feeling a jolt in his heart upon seeing a certain red head relaxing on his couch looking over one of the framed pictures from above his fireplace. Lavi turned slowly to meet his auburn gaze whilst Link stood unable to move, feeling his body turn to stone.

"That girl seems nice." Lavi set the picture down on the coffee table, readjusting himself to sit up on the couch. Link wasn't able to read the expression on his face. "I came by and was about to leave before I saw your car pull up. I guess you passed out in the car, she seemed super worried."

Link swallowed, staying where he was, unmoving. He felt a mild panic start to upset his stomach.

"She couldn't get you out by herself, so I gave her a hand." Lavi got up from the couch, stepping slowly towards Link. The blonde tensed, unconsciously taking an uneasy step back. He caught himself, mentally forcing himself to stand his ground as Lavi stepped closer to him.  
"What… are you doing here…?" He wanted the words to come out with more force, though he could feel in himself there wasn't much strength to draw from in the first place. Dammit… Why did this bastard always show up when he was weak as shit?  
Lavi huffed. "Come on. Is that any way to talk to the guy who carried you up the stairs and tucked you into your bed safe and sound?" He stopped walking towards Link, uncomfortably looking away and placing his hands in his pockets. "I can't… Get you out of my head…"

Link blinked, wide eyed and utterly confused. "What are… you…?"

The red head rubbed the back of his neck, seemingly nervous with an expression of frustration. "I don't get it either, really I fuckin' don't. I've kinda hated your guts since way back when, and now here I am coming to see you, and also helping your sorry ass get into your house."  
Link stayed cautious, not trusting a single movement Lavi might try to make. He swallowed, remembering the sensation of iron hands choking the life out of him.

"How do I explain this…?" Lavi continued towards him again, removing a hand from his pocket and reaching out towards Link. The blonde flinched, closing his eyes and expecting to be slapped like before. A hand unlike the one he had experienced earlier found its way along one of the tendrils of hair that had escaped his braid, and he let out a small gasp upon feeling it softly stroke the blonde strands. Lavi was terribly close to him now, and though everything in Link's fevered body told him to find some way to run away he stood still, staring unblinking into that single emerald iris. "When you and I…" The red head paused, pulling a grimace. Flashes of that evening ran through Link's head like a hurricane. Apparently, he hadn't been the only one tainted by their physical union. "I don't know about you, but… He was there somehow…"

" _You're finally becoming interesting."_

Link swallowed once more, feeling his blood pounding in his head.  
"You… saw him too…?"

Lavi's hand moved hesitantly, yet gently from Link's hair towards his cheek where once before he'd felt it smack bruises into his skin. He felt like it was getting hard to breathe, but regardless he attempted to stay calm and keep his ground.

"It was like he was sitting, watching us, wondering what we'd do…" Link could feel a slight tremble in Lavi's hand. "Like… somehow pieces of him came together and…" He shook his head, avoiding the blonde's eye contact. "I don't know… I just… I don't…"

" _My memory isn't whole with just one or the other. It resides in both of you."_

Link focused on the warmth he felt emanating from where Lavi touched his face. His heart was pounding, and his body felt lethargic from sick, though he felt a strange clarity overtaking him. He hadn't felt this kind of warmth since Allen… He'd never felt as unsure of himself like he did now since Allen…

 _He hadn't felt that good since Allen._

He relinquished his thought process, finding his hands starting to move on their own. When he stopped thinking his body moved without him. It was as if the stranger from before was taking over again, seeking out something unknown entirely to him. He cupped both hands around the one-eyed man's face, holding his anguished expression in regard and feeling a great sadness well up in his heart.

 _Allen, is that you inside me… Are you reaching out to him?_

"I miss him…"

He could hear his partner's voice choked with tears from deep within himself. _"I miss him so much…"_

He allowed the stranger to take control, leaving himself behind to allow the other to fulfill themselves. His figure braced Lavi's face towards his own, meeting lips tasting of cigarettes with his own.

 _Was that you before as well? When we…?  
"Are you mad at me?"_

The violence from the last time wasn't present as he felt Lavi's arms wrap around him and the man's fingers tangled in his hair, supporting his head towards their kiss. They broke off and the blonde felt Lavi bury his face inside his shoulder.

 _I'm not mad. You're in there reaching out to me too, aren't you?  
_  
Link moved his arms to hug around the back of the more muscular man's neck, feeling him tremble against his fevered form.

"Why am I…?" He could hear Lavi's words shaking breathily against his ear. "I can't get you out of my head… And every time I picture you I think of him… I just…" Link felt the wet of hot tears soak into his shirt. "I miss him…"

"He misses you too." Link cooed. The words weren't his, he was somewhere far away as he allowed the part of Allen in him to touch and speak as he pleased. He looked off to the side, seeing silver eyes and white hair standing close by. Within him Allen moved Lavi's head from his shoulder with care, meeting the red head eye-to-eye. Wordlessly he closed his eyes, recapturing Lavi's mouth in his own. He pushed forward, moving his hands down to Lavi's shoulders and then over his chest, gripping the fabric there for stability. He stepped back towards his bedroom, pulling the red head along with him.

As if in understanding, the trembling in Lavi's body seemed to melt away and Link could feel stability course through the man. He stumbled backwards, still clinging to Lavi, until he felt the base of his bed meet the back of his legs. He fell back onto the sheets below, though there was no time to recover as lips and hands reclaimed him in an instant. He braced his hands on Lavi's shoulders as he felt the eye patched man's mouth move to his neck, mowing softly against where his bruises from their last encounter were still healing.  
Quiet noises escaped his throat, though he understood now they weren't his own. These touches were so familiar… This kind of touch he had been missing for the past few months.  
The red head pressed for him to scoot back along the bed, repositioning himself so that he was over the blonde in his entirety. Lavi moved back to focus on the blonde's mouth, as Link lowered his hand towards the man's button and zipper to reach in and massage the way Allen had liked.  
A hot breath escaped the red head's lungs into Link's throat. One of Lavi's hands gripped the blonde's forearm as if to encourage the touch stimulating him below. Link could sense the man reacting to his fingers, feeling Lavi grind in towards him.  
Lavi broke his attention from Link's neck and rested his head against the blonde's shoulder, breathing heavily into his chest. Link felt him move his arm up and away from where he'd been focused, situating himself better so he was straddled in between the blonde's thighs. He caught himself staring into that lone green eye in the faded light from the living room beyond the cracked door. Lavi leaned down, pressing their foreheads together as he pushed himself up against him.  
"Your hands feel like his." Lavi whispered.  
"So do yours."  
"Last time I was so pissed off…" Link felt a hand grab softly around his neck, there was a light squeeze, but nothing compared to the grip he had suffered before. "Because you felt so fucking good, but I wanted to make you miserable…" Link felt the hand squeeze slightly more against his throat. "And here I am, wanting to do to you what I want to do to him."  
"You asked me to think of a punishment for you." Link raised his hand and stuck his fingers in the red head's mouth, opening it slightly. "Pain doesn't mean anything to the likes of us anymore. Like you said, we're just dead bodies wandering around trying to find our place in wake of his life." He pulled Lavi's jaw towards his own mouth, letting his fingers slide out as his tongue caressed against the other's. Hand still on the red head's chin he stopped abruptly and pushed the man's face slightly away from his. "Our true punishment is that we can't move on, the parts of Allen within ourselves are calling out to each other, forcing us to connect even if we don't want to."  
Lavi as silent for some time, seeming to chew over the blonde's words. He abruptly came crashing down upon Link, kissing him with severe aggression, though not lifeless or revolting as it had been before. Link responded in kind, feeling a need well up below as their bodies were pressured against each other. The red head released his mouth, keeping his face mere centimeters from his as his hands went to work on undoing the buttons on Link's shirt and pants.  
"So, you're telling me to fuck you how I like."  
"I'm telling you to fuck me like he would." Link stated bluntly.  
Lavi chuckled in the dim light, removing the blonde's pants with some effort. He moved to remove his own shirt, throwing it off the side of the bed. "You don't mince words. Though I'm pretty surprised, I didn't think you could ever be like this." The red head moved a hand down the side of Link's thigh. "I always thought you'd be dull in bed."  
Link scowled at the man who was pushing himself against him. He held back a moan, feeling a bit taken aback and not wanting to give himself away entirely.  
"Ah, sorry did I hurt your feelings?" Lavi laughed. "You can't blame me. It's all that external image you pride yourself on so much. You make yourself seem like such a fuckin' prude."  
"Well you're exactly what I imagined you to be." Link hissed. His pride felt a sting from the red head's words.  
"You ever imagined I'd make you cum like a high school girl?"  
"What- Ah!" Link was cut off as he felt the larger man enter him, though unlike the last time this was slow and deliberate. He gripped Lavi's shoulders, shaking slightly as he worked to adjust himself.  
"You want me to fuck you like I'd fuck him, you sure you can handle that?" Lavi whispered huskily against his ear. "You're gonna melt into this bed and forget who you are."  
Link bit his bottom lip as he felt Lavi move inside him. The pressure was slow, smooth and concentrated. He let a sigh escape his lips as he closed his eyes, letting the world outside fall away. His arms were braced around the back of Lavi's neck, though the feeling of the red head's hair and the sound of his heavy breathing against his ear faded away into the background.

 _"Howard…"  
He heard Allen's breathy whisper kiss against his ear. He was wrapped in a sea of white hair, silver eyes and the sensation of Allen's left hand squeezed lightly around his throat.  
At one time the the young man had been shorter than him, but now he'd grown to be taller and more masculine, though still retained that feminine beauty that made Link wonder if he'd come from another world.  
"Howard, I think I… I think I love you…"  
Link inhaled sharply as his lover ravaged him with the kind of careful pleasure that only Allen could inflict upon him.  
"I've loved you for some time now." The blonde uttered between heavy breaths.  
The sweet taste of Allen's mouth claimed his own, savaging it with no intention of letting go. He felt lost in the sensations of friction and sparks, reveling in that he could call Allen his and his alone.  
"Don't ever leave me." Allen hushed.  
"I won't."  
"Don't you dare ever leave me."  
Soft hands squeezed upon Link's airpipe, constricting his breathing just so he could still get air, but the pressure of those hands did something to him below that was driving him crazy.  
"I won't." He rasped.  
The younger man's movements were merciless, hitting him exactly where he wanted. He gripped for dear life onto the hands strangling him into his finish.  
"If you leave me I'll kill you."_

"Hahh-!"  
Link struggled for breath between the hands now cutting off his airway, just so he wouldn't pass out. Lavi's movements were now hard and fast paced, railing into the blonde and building that same white-hot pressure from before. His hands braced weakly against the man's chest, finding no grip to hold onto and slipping on the sweat dripping off his skin.  
"How do you want it?" Lavi grit.  
"H-Harder-!" Link choked out. He let out a strained groan as the red head reciprocated.  
"Cal

l me his name."  
"A-Ah…"  
"Call me his name!"  
"A-Allen-!"  
Perhaps it was the lack of blood going to his head, but he swore he could smell the sweet scent he had loved for so long enter the room. The feeling below was building to levels that he thought would drive him mad.

"D-Don't Stop... Don't…"

He was melting deep below the sheets beneath him, the sweet smell and the sensation of heat and wet pleasure pounding into him made his vision blurry. The face of Lavi transferred between the red head's own and that of his long-gone lover.

"Allen…"

He called out, gripping onto Lavi's arms, feeling a wave of pleasure shake him down to his core. The red head didn't stop, drowning him in his orgasm over and over again.

 _Allen… Allen…_

Lavi's movements became jerky and unrefined, telling Link he was closed to finishing. His hands flailed uselessly against the larger man's form, everything in his body completely weak and worthless.

 _Allen, Allen, Allen, Allen…_

His eyes rolled into the back of his head, his vision swimming with stars and spots of black and red. Lavi's grip around his throat became tighter, cutting off his airway entirely as Link felt him rail in with the force signaling he was close to done.

 _AllenAllenAllenAllenAllenAllenAllenAllenAllenAllenAllenAllen…_

He could barely make out the shape of white hair, scar and silver eyes in the blur, and as he reached out towards them his vision went black.

 **If you happen to read and enjoy this series, feedback is always appreciated. I've always wanted to write something dark and fucked up, though didn't feel inspired to do so until my life took it's own sort of turn. I guess in some way I consider this my therapy, like really angsty, fucked up therapy. Anyways, thanks for reading!**

 **-Ko.**


	3. Amicus

Chapter 3: Amicus

Howard Link opened his eyes slowly to the cold sunlight emanating through his curtain windows. He was facing up towards the ceiling, watching tiny specs of dust dance lazily about the air as he became used to the concept of being awake. He swallowed, wincing at the bruises renewed constricting his ability to breathe comfortably. He blinked slowly, turning to his side, squinting at the figure sleeping faced towards him.  
He was admittedly a bit surprised, fully expecting the red head to have walked out the same as their last encounter. He took the time to assess Lavi's form, realizing he hadn't actually seen the man in proper light since they had starting associating. It took him back a bit how attractive he really was, like the models or rough looking movie stars women would fawn over. It was entirely unlike his own features which he found set in severe strictness, sharp and pointed in areas which he felt gave himself an unfriendly appearance. Some part of him envied that the younger man could convey expressions that made him fit in with regular society… He seemed like the kind of guy who could chameleon into just about any group of people.  
He attempted to shift upright, though felt immense throbbing and stiffness in his neck, causing him to relent in continuing his previous position. In the shuffling of sheets he saw Lavi's eyes open slowly, the man letting out a sigh through his nose as he rubbed the sleep away from his face. The red head's usual head band and eye patch had been removed, documenting the first time Link had ever seen the man without these items. The man's right eye, which was normally covered, opened slightly, though not as much as a normal eye would. Link noticed a blurred discoloration there, making him guess that the eye was unable to see and hence spent most of its time buried under the red head's eyepatch. It seemed like an odd fashion choice, one that made Lavi stand out in any crowd he was in.

"You're finally awake." Lavi mumbled as he repositioned himself to sitting up, giving Link a look of scrutiny. "Your dumbass doesn't hydrate enough. It's why you kept passing out."

Link worked his mouth to form a snarky reply, though found his throat constricting sounds from exiting. He shut his mouth and furrowed his brow in frustration, looking away pointedly from the red head.  
Lavi removed himself from the bed, donning only a pair of boxers as he reapplied the eyepatch to his face. "Unbelievable." The man gave a light laugh. "Even like this you still act like such a bitch. I applaud your commitment."  
Link watched carefully as the man walked out from the room, curious if this was where his visitor was now going to make his exit. He heard clinking and shuffling outside, straining to attempt to see what the confounded red head was doing inside his house. Not too much longer Lavi re-entered, holding a glass of water out to the blonde.

"Can you sit up?"

Link frowned. Despite the stiffness and aching of his neck he forced himself to shift upright, his body screaming from the tire of fever and sore abuse from the night before. He wordlessly accepted the water from Lavi, not realizing how thirsty he really was until he noticed the water tasting far better than it should. Without thinking he drained the glass, feeling some life return to his dry mouth and throat. He held the glass back out to the red head, who seemed to consider the action for a moment.

"You're so stubborn." Lavi heaved a sigh. "You're welcome by the way, not everyone sticks around after their night stand blacks out on them." He took the glass and headed

out once more, returning it to Link before taking a seat on the side of the bed in front of him. Link nursed the container of liquid in his hand, clearing his throat and rediscovering his voice, cracked though it was.  
"You didn't leave…" He wasn't sure where the words came from, if it was for sure him speaking now or…  
The man regarded him for a moment before casually leaning back. "I'd feel bad leaving you like that, even if it was terribly rude on your part. Besides…" Lavi appeared to be avoiding eye contact. "It's been sorta lonely."  
Link thumbed the rim of his drinking receptacle before taking a slow sip. He mulled over the thought of loneliness, realizing for the first time since waking up that the eerie feeling of being swallowed up by his environment was kept at bay for the time being. He hadn't thought about loneliness in depth, only that he missed Allen. Perhaps… He missed other human contact in some way as well. His feelings towards Lavi felt immensely fuzzy, however the initial black emotions he had associated with the man didn't hold the same flare they had before.

"I mean," Lavi sat upright, giving Link snarky smile. "If having me around upsets your stomach too much I can always leave too. Just didn't seem terribly polite to leave you

looking like a bruised banana all out cold and everything."  
Link subconsciously touched a hand to his sensitive bruises, glaring at the man with venom.

"Whose fault do you think that is?"

"Not my fault you passed out, that shit's on you. Also, you seemed to enjoy the hell out of being choked senseless." Lavi narrowed his eye, an unpleasant slyness darkening his features. "I never took you for a masochist."  
Link clicked his tongue, avoiding that single green eye at all costs and feeling seething embarrassment course through him. It was mortifying to have allowed the red head to see him in that way.  
Lavi laughed. "It's fine, it's not that unusual really. You don't have to worry about pride or whatever the fuck you're thinking about right now. That attitude of yours isn't very cute anyhow, you should consider loosening up more. You're more interesting like that." He climbed the rest of the way onto the bed, Link leaning back as Lavi crawled over on top of him. "You still haven't told me if you want to kick me out yet or not."  
The blonde had his half-full glass of water hugged to his chest, feeling his heart pound as he stared into the single pool of unreadable emerald. A strong part of him wanted to kick the man out and never see him again, reeling in the guilt of having someone out there who knew him in that way… But the other part, perhaps the part that wasn't entirely him…

"You can stay."

Lavi's features softened and the blonde stiffened as his guest slunk down to lay atop him, feeling wild red hair rest against his exposed chest. The man closed his eye, seemingly content with Link's answer. With uncertainty, Link placed his glass on the night stand, reaching out with an unsteady hand to run through Lavi's unkept hair. It didn't seem entirely soft, like there was some stiff product in it that formed the man's wild appearance. A strange comfort and warmth spread from where Lavi's heavy body lay over his.

"I've been meaning to ask…" Link started tentatively.

"Hm?"

"That time three years ago, that wasn't the only time you were with him, right?"

The red head leaned up a bit, discomfort clouding his expression. "Come on, let's not do this right now…"

"I'm not mad." Link touched upon the man's hair again, letting the strands slip through his fingers. "I had some idea."

The red head seemed to be looking at him with caution, as if he was thinking of which words to construct. "It wasn't."  
Link hadn't expected to handle this information with the calm he felt now, the image of Allen smiling at him fading back into the darkness of his mind. "The way you were last night, it seemed just like him. How many times?"

"On and off." Lavi muttered. "To be honest we were sort of a thing before the two of you started dating. I wasn't a stable guy though, and I think with everything he was dealing with he wanted something with a bit more calculation." The red head was avoiding his eye contact. "Every now and again though he'd start it. He'd never say why, he seemed like he was still infatuated with you anyhow. But maybe…" Link could feel Lavi tense slightly. "He never told me he loved me, I never got that. I don't think he did. I think he just couldn't separate himself entirely from one world or the other. He grew up with chaos, so he craved predictability. But you don't forget your roots entirely, I think some part of him couldn't get out of that, and I could never bring myself to deny him." Lavi got up from his spot, Link feeling his fingers slip from the red tendrils. "Some part of me always hoped he'd become bored with you and come running my way. It never happened though." The man looked somewhere off in the distance, nostalgic sadness dripping in his voice. "And now it never will."  
Link mulled the words over, assessing how he was handling the information. Was what he and Allen had together a lie…? He imagined before he would have become pissed off and acted irrationally, though for whatever reason he felt immensely calm, almost cool with clarity.

"Sorry… I'll uh, I'll go-"

Link cut the red head off, finding his hand back on his head, gripping a handful of his hair in his fist. He wordlessly, slowly, dragged the man back down to where he'd been before, holding him there with allowed strength as Lavi silently complied.

"I'm grateful." Link released Lavi's hair from his grip once he felt sure he wouldn't get up again. "I've been struggling in this life after him, feeling like I'm in a world of empty faces who will never understand how I feel." He resumed stroking the rough strands, unable to see what kind of face the red head was making. "You seem to understand though. You understand how he was endlessly kind, then suddenly cruel in unexpected moments. Last night proved that to me."  
Lavi kept quiet for some time, Link focusing on the feeling of pressure leaning against where his heart beat.

"I think…" Lavi spoke from below, "I think if he had his way, he'd have kept both of us for as long as he could. You were a safe place for him to come home to, something he could predict, and I was someone he could use to blow off some steam."

 _"There are parts of me that I only gave to you, and parts I only gave to him. The two of you will have to fill in the blanks."_

Link closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. If Allen had lived, what would have become of this mess he'd set up? How would he have reacted to the red head he now had pressed against him had he found everything out before Allen died? Lavi had continued to wait for Allen, made himself available for the younger man despite knowing that he would spend most of his time with Link. Would he have had the same commitment?

 _I want to understand you.  
"You can't get answers from me anymore. But you can still seek them out."  
From him, you mean.  
"You choose how you do it. The me inside him is reaching out to you, the same way the me inside you wants to connect with him." _

Link reopened his eyes, feeling his vision unfocused in the dim light of his room.

"Don't leave me." The words came out quietly from the blonde, though once more he had the sensation they didn't truly belong to him.

Lavi laughed dryly. "I wouldn't dare. Otherwise you'll kill me, right?"  
Link smiled, feeling the presence of his lost partner fill the room.

"Damn straight."

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 _Knock, Knock, Knock._

Link was shaken from his evening book reading by the sound of polite tapping at his door. He regarded it for a moment before closing his book and placing it on the coffee table. He knew it couldn't be his recent repeat offender as the red head had lounged about his house and raided his liquor cabinet before getting a call and saying he had some urgent business with work. Link hadn't questioned the excuse, assuming the man was simply bored after a certain point though admittedly was curious as to what kind of work someone like Lavi could be involved with.  
He got up from the couch, peering through the peephole before opening the door to see a familiar blonde female coworker standing awkwardly with a heavy looking pot in her hands.

"H-hello." Tevak blurted. She had a serious look on her face, though Link could see underneath that she was nervous to some degree. She didn't seem like the kind of woman that left her house for leisure very often.

"What are you doing here?" He sighed.

"How rude! And after I came all this way!" She indignantly shoved the pot in his direction, sniffing and avoiding his eye contact. "You caused me so much trouble yesterday fainting nearly half the day away, and yet here I am, nice and lovely coworker that I am, to give you something to make you feel better."

Link stared at the pot being held out to him, noticing the woman's arms were shaking slightly from holding it at such an angle. He wordlessly accepted it, noting that it was rather heavy with whatever was inside of it.

"Thanks…."

Tevak settled her bristles down, eyeing the blonde man from the side. "You put up a good front, but you haven't been eating as well as you should be. I don't know who you think you're impressing, but acting like that and then overworking yourself does nothing but make things difficult." She turned towards him once more, meeting the braided man eye-to-eye, though her gaze trailed down for a moment and her expression changed to something of worry. Link felt her hands cover his where he was holding the pot by the handles. "What… Happened to you…?"

Link felt a hitch in his breathing as he suddenly realized his neck was exposed, bruises and all. Without thinking he dropped the pot to hide it with his hands, though Tevak was on it and caught it for him before it hit the ground. He chided himself for not thinking of some way to cover them before answering the door.

Tevak gripped the handles on the pot before seeming to breathe in deeply. "Whatever, I'm coming in."

Link had no time before his coworker shoved passed him, sliding her shoes off before taking the pot over to his kitchen. He stood stock still at his doorframe, feeling rigged with absolute shame as his ears burned at an uncontrollable temperature.

He heard Tevak huff from inside his home, almost being able to sense the young woman crossing her arms. "Even if I asked you about it, it's not like you'd tell me."

Link unwrapped himself a bit, slowly uncovering his hands from his throat so he could close the door. His movements felt sluggish and numb, every part of him cursing his carelessness. There was no point to it now, he tried to restraighten himself and attain some aspect of his dignity back.

"Have you eaten?" Tevak asked him as she investigated his stove.

"Not recently."

"Idiot."

He turned away from the door, watching as she aggressively worked the knobs and checked the glass top of the burners. Seeming satisfied, she placed the pot there, removing the lid and peering in on its contents. She wordlessly located his cooking utensils, eyeing a ladle before deeming it appropriate and stirring the pot's insides.

"Who was that guy from yesterday?" She asked.

Link clenched his teeth, remembering that Lavi had assisted in getting his unconscious form up the stairs. He wasn't sure why, but it irritated him to know that someone, even though Tevak had no idea who the man was, knew he'd been associating with the confounded red head.

"An old friend of Allen's." He meandered to where she stood, leaning against the door of the pantry and watching as she scrutinized what appeared to be stew. At the mention of Allen her ladling halted for a moment before she continued.

"Oh." Link noticed she was putting in considerable effort not to look at him. "I guess that's good, at least you have someone to talk to."

"Something like that." Link wasn't completely comfortable in whatever it was he and Lavi were getting involved in. It was definitely not something he wanted to share with anyone, let alone someone he worked with.

"He have something to do with that mess all over your neck?" God, she was blunt.

"No." Link lied.

"Like I said, not like you'd tell me anyway." She set the ladle to the side of the pot, searching for bowls in one of his cabinets. "Where are your spoons?" Link pointed in the direction of the needed drawer and Tevak went to work filling the bowls, placing them on the counter before glaring at him. "It's not like we're at the office right now, you don't have to act like that."

The blonde man blinked. "I, uh…"

"It's not cute." She shoved a bowl at him, though it took him a second to take her actions in and claim the bowl himself. This wasn't the first time his apparent cuteness had been judged that day… "I knew a teacher really well one time. She taught Kindergarten, probably one of the best early educators out there. After work though, she drank like a monster." She glared at him. "You can be a good employee without being perfect all the time."

Link looked down into his bowl, noting that the stew she'd prepared smelled relatively good. He couldn't place the last time someone had made him dinner. He'd always be the one cooking at home…

"You don't have a dining room, where the hell do you eat?"

He looked back up. "Usually at the coffee table… The place is kind of small."

Tevak grabbed her own bowl and walked passed him into the living room, halting a moment to look back at him. "You gonna eat with me or what?"

"Y-yeah…"

He followed her in, placing himself in the arm chair to offer the woman more space to herself on the couch. She sat down, bowl in lap, before taking a spoonful of the stew and blowing on it a few times to take a bite. Link took a bite himself, noting that it tasted as good as it had smelled.

"I didn't know you could cook." He murmured.

"Everyone knows how to cook to some extent." She took another bite, eyeing the man thoughtfully. "I just know with how many hours we pull you gotta fill it with the proper nutrition."

"You mention nutrition quite a bit." Link noted.

"Because it's important. If all you eat is garbage all the time your body will only be able to act like garbage. Same with sleep, if you don't sleep enough at home then it'll show in the product of your work." She settled deeper into the couch, hugging the warm bowl close to her. "I always thought about how you'd eat a pastry with almost every lunch, and wondered how you were able to provide the work you did while filling your body with sugar."

Link scowled. "I just… Like sweet things."

"What's this? A human reaction?" She held a hand to her mouth in mock awe. Link rolled his eyes. "I'm kidding. It's just nice to see you as something other than hopelessly mopey after these past few months. And genuinely, not that fake mask you wear around the office these days."

"I didn't mean to put on a mask…" Link took another bite of stew, wondering what it was like to interact with him outside of his own headspace. He almost bit his tongue in remembering Lavi saying something similar about how surprising it was to see him act in any way that was outside of his controlled sphere.

 _"You still trying to impress me in some way?"_

He gulped and mentally shook his head, warding the voice at the back of his mind away. He stared into his bowl, trying to seek his next words out carefully.

"I don't… Get along well with other people." He could feel her feminine eyes taking him in, though didn't feel the courage to meet them. "It doesn't come easily to me, laughing with other people, so I don't get jokes a lot of the time. I couldn't fathom those who had options outside of working towards their goals or careers, it all just seemed like distraction that was unnecessary. You study hard to get a good job, and you work hard to become part of society."

Tevak seemed to mull over his words. "What about after hours? Normally people work hard to get a good job, so they can achieve something else, usually money to obtain comfort."

"There was that…" Link remembered glimpses of dinners out with Allen, or movies he'd been dragged to against his will. He remembered gifts he'd buy Allen, gifts now boxed up in storage because he couldn't bear to look at them. "My reason for comfort isn't here anymore though, so I've been feeling pretty aimless lately." He smiled, feeling as though he were laughing at himself. "That seems pretty pathetic, but that's how it is. Before I was just doing all those things to follow the rules, then he came along and suddenly I found purpose in building a life with him, wanting to do things with him… He's gone, and so is my purpose. So, it's back to sticking with the rules."

Tevak stayed silent for some time, having taken a pause from eating her food.

He laughed nervously. "Sorry, I've completely spoiled the mood."

"It's not that." She set her half-eaten bowl on the coffee table, leaning forward a bit in her seat. "It's honestly just… The first time you've ever talked about him personally with me. With anyone at the office, really. You don't talk about your home life, or if you're feeling down. We were all surprised to see you come into work only a few days after he passed, same as always you came in, did your work, and spoke to none of us about it. We could all tell you were having a hard time, but you didn't want to talk about it at all." She straightened up a bit. "Maybe you don't see it this way, but we all like you. You talk about not getting jokes, but we all saw a bit of humor in how overly serious you were. You were hard working to a fault and made the rest of us kind of feel left behind. So, it became really obvious when that hard-working attitude changed from ambition to mechanical structure."

Link had finished most of his bowl, feeling a bit queasy after having not eaten something so substantial in quite some time. He fidgeted with his hands, trying to think of what to say next. Tevak didn't give him the opportunity.

"What was he like?"

Link looked up, caught in auburn eyes similar to his own, but brighter in their intensity. He felt caught off guard by the question, unable to trail any line back to a start to where he could begin to describe Allen.

"Kind…" He stammered. "He was mostly kind." He remembered that cheery smile, ever resilient no matter the situation. "He didn't give up on things easily, saying they could always be worse no matter what he or what I was going through. I suppose in his perspective that was the case, he'd grown up in foster homes for some time before being adopted by someone who became like his father before that person passed away. I think that was the beginning of a lot of his hardships, but he never quit, not through anything. I guess that's what drew me to him, it's hard to find people who can commit when things become stressful…"

Tevak listened as Link found himself recounting events from the past. The comfort of nostalgia overcame the atmosphere of his home as he was able to recant what he had known of his partner for the time they'd been together. As he went over them at certain points he wondered at which times in their lives Allen had become involved with Lavi, forming memories he'd never had a part in. The thought failed to blacken what he'd loved in Allen as he thought it might, the memories he had were his, and the memories Lavi had belonged solely to the red head. He wasn't sure how much time passed as he found himself speaking more than he had in ages, something in him glad for the sort of company where he could paint Allen exactly as he remembered.

Perhaps it was because it was the first time he'd confided in another person as a friend…

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It was three days into Howard Link's mandatory week off and he'd felt he'd had enough. After recovering by the second day to what he felt was near mint health, the third day was making him go stir crazy. By this point he'd already finished a few of the books he'd meant to catch up on, he'd even become bored enough to tune into cable and peruse the channels before getting wrapped into a marathon of How It's Made. He'd downed a few drinks, getting sucked into the addicting concepts that went into making pillows, mandolins, and maybe about fifty or so other things he had not considered having origin stories. At some point during this stream of unnecessary information he'd fallen asleep, waking up at an ungodly hour with no desire to fall back asleep.  
He had attempted to log into his work account to finish some of his files, only to find that he'd been locked out by upper management. Apparently Madarao was quite serious about keeping him from work. Irritated, bored and having spent enough time drinking and imagining the angry letter he wanted to write to the show creators of Ancient Aliens, he felt pent up inside his condo, however had no fantasies about what transpired outside.  
At some point he checked his phone, though was not sure what he'd been hoping to find there. A message? He let out a _tsk_ sound before tossing his phone onto the couch in frustration, leering at it as if it owed him something. He berated himself for hoping to hear anything from that idiot- Why the hell would he want to hear from him? Talking to that man was worthless, and it made him feel worthless that some part of him desired it. He stumbled back to the kitchen to pour some more bourbon, eyeing the spot where his phone lay dejected on his sofa with a sense of expectance. He let out a rather large breath he hadn't known he'd been holding, feeling utterly restless with no way out. He drained a bit more alcohol, slumping heavily against his kitchen counter and leaning into one hand for support. Link felt absolutely pathetic. Some part of him felt antsy, driven, for any form of social contact. This didn't make a lick of sense to him as he wasn't a social guy, he was used to spending plenty of time alone… So why was it bothering him so much now? He groaned, slinking slowly onto the kitchen floor. Even during quiet periods it had always been nice having Allen in the house with him, the younger man would spend time playing solitaire or inviting Link to sit on the couch with him while he watched shows or movies. He missed that presence of having Allen close by, of having a head rest on his lap, or firm arms hug around him when he would least expect it.  
As he sat miserably on the floor, he went over in his head what he wouldn't give to have Allen back. Even knowing what he knew now, about Allen's unfaithfulness, he just… He…

Missed him.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Link gave several unsteady knocks to the strained white door in front of him. Parts of the paint were peeled, and he recognized that this may not be the nicest part of town. After some time he knocked again, this time heavier, though without any rhythm as his hands felt like noodles flopping about his body.  
The door finally opened, and he peered passed the archway into a single emerald eye.

"Woah, Two Spots?"

"Thass Link, I'm- "He pointed a thumb towards his chest, moving unsteadily. "I'm Link." He swallowed hard.

Lavi opened the door the rest of the way, seeming to eye the blonde up and down. "Jesus Christ, you didn't drive here did you?"

Link took a heavy step back and held both arms out in presentation towards where his car was parked, lopsided and way up against the curb. "Howsat?"

There was a certain type of horror in Lavi's eye as he looked from the terribly parked car to the terribly drunk Howard Link who'd come knocking at his door at 3 in the morning. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I asked that too- But I didn't find a good answer?" Link attempted to shove both his hands in his pockets, missing one hand which offset his balance a bit. "Shit, I'm drunk…"

"Yeah that's obvious you fucking idiot. I'm calling you an Uber."

"No, no, no." Link swayed towards the door, catching himself on the frame, attempting to steady himself. "I had something… Imporrant to tell you." He scowled as his thought process fought off the swarm of buzzing bees that was his brain. "I forgot…"  
Lavi sighed, seemingly tired beyond the time of evening that plagued their meeting. "Did you… want to come inside?"

Link stepped back, squinting at the red head with drunken suspicion. "You would like that, wouldn't you?"

"No, not really, I'd like to sleep, but I can't really let you drive like that. You're the one who woke me up and came here unannounced."

Link laughed. "Sucks- Doesn't it?"

Lavi rolled his eye. "Get inside."

The blonde stepped away a few paces, though was grateful to meet the wall behind him before he fell backwards. "No." He blurted. "I'm going home. Goodbye." He swung himself in the direction of his car, leaning heavily against the peeled wooden walkway for support as he attempted to fish his keys. While swaggering away he felt a hand grab his wrist before finding himself be pulled backwards.

"You stupid, stubborn idiot. You're gonna kill yourself like that. Get inside." Lavi pulled Link towards his home, the blonde making a fuss but unable to do much other than complain.

"No, take me home. I messed up- I meant to drive… Meant to drive…" He fought off the racket in his head and vision to come up with a better excuse.

"You're not driving anywhere for at least the next twelve hours or so. And you managed to make it all the way here, so now you're stuck with me." Lavi growled as Link was dragged into the red head's apartment. Any last hope of getting away from this situation disappeared as the door close behind them. The blonde blinked a few times, focusing in whatever way he could on the surroundings of his new environment.

"Your house is a mess." He slurred.

"Thanks." Lavi grunted, before half-tossing his blonde guest onto a part of an old couch that wasn't covered in stray papers.

Upon inspection, Link noticed that most of the small living area was scattered about with unorganized papers, files and newspapers. They littered the walls as well, stuck by pins in what seemed to be no exact order. It took him a few tries to discern titles depicting cases of murder and a few different mentions of something called NOAH labeling a good majority of the articles. To one side there was a desk laid out in disaster, more papers spilling over the edges and several file cabinets littered about. He saw a tiny kitchen hidden off to the side as well as a closet spaced area that appeared to be a bathroom.  
"You don't have a bed?" Link swiveled around, trying to locate where a door to a bedroom might be.

"It's a studio apartment, so no, no bed." Lavi roughly swiped some papers off the small table in front the of the couch to the ground, taking a seat there and facing his untimely visitor. "Not all of us get to live in swanky condos twenty minutes from lakeside. How'd you find out where I live anyhow?"

Link, with some effort, fished his phone out of his pocket and presented it to the red head. "Miss Lee gave it to me."

"Lenalee?" Lavi groaned and rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration. "That girl is such fuckin' trouble, she can never keep her damn business to herself." He leaned forward, an incredulous look on his face. "You and her talk?"

"I don't know. I guess? She messageses me sometimes." For some reason he couldn't get his mouth around the word messages. Certain words felt like soaked cotton in his mouth when he tried to pronounce them. "So, what's all this?" He swung an arm out at all the articles scattered over the apartment, flinching a bit when he hit the lamp providing all the light within their space. Luckily the lamp kept his ground, though Link quickly returned his arm to his side where it wouldn't cause any more damage.

"Work." The red head sighed, apparently resigning himself to the fact that the blonde wasn't going anywhere any time soon.

It was at this point, in all his fuzziness that Link regarded the fact that even after knowing about Lavi and having curt instances of having spoken to him for five years before their odd new meetings that he actually had no idea what the man did for a living, or anything about him in general. He nibbled the inside of his cheek slightly, wondering if he had trapped himself in something dire.

"Your work looks like a mess."

"You mentioned." Lavi heaved a sigh, standing upright and meandering to his kitchen. "So really, drunk Two Spots at my house at 3 in the fuckin' morning, what did you risk life and limb for in coming over here?"

Link squinted as he saw Lavi pour some cheap looking whiskey over ice into a plastic cup. "You don't have glasses?"

"So you came here to judge my house, yeah?"

"No." The blonde rested his elbow on the sofa arm, supporting his heavy head with the palm of his hand. He furrowed his brow, trying to think of some reason why he had driven here. In all honesty with himself he didn't remember most of the instances leading up to him coming here, or why he'd really shown up in the first place. "I don't know, I'm just here."

"I'm not offering you a drink, you've had enough." Lavi returned to his seat on the table, offering a cup to Link. "Knowing you, you haven't been matching water with booze, which you'll really regret tomorrow if you don't drink something other than whatever tossed ya up."

Link wordlessly accepted the cup, sipping from it while keeping his eye on Lavi. "Rude."

"Don't you have like some office gig or something you have to get to in the morning? How the hell you expect to show up in the morning if you're this smashed this late at night?" Lavi sipped from his own receptacle, pulling a face at what Link suspected was some bitter tasting liquid. "Obviously you're feeling better."

"They made me take a week off." Link huffed and leaned heavier onto his arm. "They banned me from working for one whole week." He lifted his pointer finger from his cup, trying to empathize his hardship.

"Oh, I get it, so you're bored." Lavi sniffed before taking another drink. "You can't stand not being useful or important in some way and drove your drunk ass over here for entertainment."

"And what do you show up at my house for? It's not like you like me."

Lavi seemed to think over this for a moment. "Yeah, I guess you caught me there. I have no idea. I have numerous people I could go bury my loneliness into and yet twice now I find myself at your fuckin' house."

"It's just so… empty." Link felt heavy with alcohol, the toxic liquid smashing through all control scepters and empowering emotions he'd rather keep away from the surface. "When I can work, I'm doing something, moving in some way- whatever way that is. I don't know what people do with free time."

"Well some of us drink, which you seem to have done a splendid good job at. Some of us have hobbies or make distractions for ourselves. Some of us socialize, go out, lots of people our age do bars and make bad connections." Lavi paused before taking another sip. "You ever consider religion?"

Link laughed, harder than he felt he should have. "And put all my actions and responsibilities in the hands of some higher power? Please." He smirked, tilting his head to the side. "It would be great to blame everything I've done and what's happened to me on something above me. Do you place your mistakes on God and hope They'll fix them?"

Lavi smiled. "I thought you were raised Catholic."

"Catholic orphanage." Link finished his water, eyeing the bottom of his empty cup before handing it out to Lavi.

"I'm not giving you booze."

"Why not?" Link shook the cup a little. "You won't let me leave, so what's the harm?" The blonde's words felt a bit more coherent, though still slurred into each other with drunken slickness.

"You're gonna hate yourself tomorrow, you do realize that?" Lavi reached towards the floor where he'd placed the bottle.

"I hate myself most of these days anyways." Link stated bluntly. He frowned, some sober part far off in his head screaming at letting the words slip out. "Maybe I've always sort of hated myself."

"So we do have something in common." Lavi tipped the blonde's cup about halfway, which was probably far too much but Link wasn't in the mindset of caring or keeping up his usual appearances. As the red head's arm was reached out to him he noticed bandages on Lavi's wrist peeking out from under his sleeve. The bruises healing on his neck burned against the turtle neck he had adorned.

"Something happen to your arm?" Link swigged the gold colored liquid, gagging at the rough taste it had accompanied with it. "Jesus, what is this?"

"Convenience store brand." Lavi replied, his eyesight meandering to where the blonde's had been focused a moment ago. "You bury yourself in work, I suppose I bury myself in less favorable activities."

"Like fucking me."

"Like fucking you."

There was an awkward silence before the two cracked up, laughing. Though the matter didn't seem to be one of humor, the dark implications of their new acquaintance seemed utterly hilarious to Link in his unsteady state of being. Somewhere far away he could imagine a young man with white hair and silver eyes laughing at the two of them, two broken people burying scars under the dangerous premise of their social conduct.

"What the hell are we doing, you and I, meeting like this…?" Lavi had a nervous smile as he stared into his cup. "I mean this time it's entirely your fault."  
Link smiled as renewed intoxication washed warm over his body. "I already told you, I don't know why I'm here. I couldn't tell you."

"I'll admit, you're more tolerable when you stop putting up such a fuckin' front."

"Someone else recently told me that," Link considered. In the blur of alcohol, he wondered who it was at this point he was trying to keep images up for. Before was it for Allen? No, he had always been like that. "Appearances were important where I grew up, I guess it just stuck."

"Yeah I had some of that, but I resented it, so I acted out." The red head said over the lid of his cup. "I'm probably still acting out."

"Angry at someone?"

"A lot of different people, situations, other stuff I guess."

"You angry with me?" Link tested his waters, eyeing the red head carefully.

Lavi laughed. "At this point? Hard to tell. Before, yeah definitely I was angry at your fuckin' guts." He met Link's wary gaze with one of his own. "I didn't get why for the longest time you got to be the one who Allen came home to every night. Where I got scraps and pieces, you got most of him whole, you weren't something to wear every once in a while, you were like the golden watch he always kept with him."

"You say that, but you knew him better than I did in the end. I didn't know about you two, there are parts of him I'm just now getting that I never understood." Link narrowed his eyes. "You knew about us, knew how we were involved and how deeply. I'm jealous."

"Two Spots is fuckin' jealous?" Lavi snorted. "Of me of-" he gestured to his small space, covered in papers and dust, "of this? That's a hell of a concept."

Link shrugged. "Supposedly I may be human after all."

"You're human, alright." Lavi had a certain familiar darkness on his face that Link had learned to read. "What about you? After what I've done to you, you still show up here in the middle of the night, conscious of it or not. Don't tell me I've stockholmed you."

Link huffed. "I'm too smart for that. I don't romanticize anything about whatever it is you and I are doing." He swallowed. "I'm still not sure what that is, or why I found myself here."

"Gripping at bits and pieces of something that's not here anymore." Lavi opened the drawer beneath him, pulling out a pack of smokes and a lighter. He pulled one out, holding the pack out to the blonde. "Want one?"  
"You smoke inside the house?" Link wrinkled his nose at the thought.

"My house, I can do what I want. You want one or what?" Lavi smirked. "You seemed to end up liking the last one you had, and no one's here to document anything other than myself. Besides I've already seen you at your worst."

Link stared at the pack for a moment, hesitantly reaching for one, fumbling a bit with his useless fingers. "If that's the case I've seen you at your worst too."

"Yeah but I'm always a fuckin' mess. There's no expectations I hold myself to or people I have to impress. Everyone knows I'm a dingy fuck: 'there goes Bookman Junior, sluttin' his way through life again- oh he smokes- oh he drinks'- No one cares with me. But with you, they might start thinkin' something's wrong with you." He chuckled.

"Something probably is wrong with me." Link stated dejectedly, once again finding honesty spilling out from him through the pores of liquor.

"Probably." Lavi waited until Link had placed the filter in his mouth, allowing the red head to light it like he had before. "You better get used to that, there's something wrong with everyone."

"Not quite like this." Link reacted to the memory of the two of them outside the church at Allen's funeral, remembering exactly how to make use of his cigarette. He didn't feel the same harshness as with his first intake, apparently having done it correctly.

"People bury their emotions in casual sex all the time." Lavi let out a stream of smoke.

"You call this casual?" Link scoffed. "It certainly doesn't feel casual."

"What would you call it?"

"I don't know." Link leaned back, feeling that numb sensation mix with the warm buzz of alcohol. "Dangerous."

"Dangerous…" Lavi seemed to consider this as he took a deep drag, letting the smoke ebb slowly from his mouth. "That's a word for it I guess. If that's how you feel though we can always stop."

"You're the one who keeps showing up at my door."

"And tonight you were at mine, so what does that say about you?"

Link unconsciously gripped his cup, hearing the crinkle of plastic bending against its form. He met the red head's eye as steadily as he could, though his vision was doubling over on itself. He was failing to come up with a good answer or even a sarcastic retort he could throw Lavi's direction.

"Oho, got you to a place with no answer. That's rare." Lavi laughed quietly, finishing off what must have been the third half-cup of whiskey since they settled there. "It's fine, you don't have to answer. It probably says the same thing about you as it does about me."

"Which would be?"

"We're lonely." The red head set his cup down on the ground. "You're used to having someone to hold, talk to, the normal shit that couples do. When we weren't sneaking around Allen and I were honestly good friends, he was probably the only person I could be myself around." He seemed to stare down at the floor, his look growing distant. "Not that I hold myself to the same standards that you do, but it's hard to be honestly whole with someone. It's so rare, and I probably won't have that with anyone else."

Link mulled the words over his head for a moment before dropping his half-finished cigarette in what was left of the whiskey in his cup. He staggered upright, though found his footing unsteady and stumbled forward, gripping onto Lavi's shirt to support himself over the man. The prideful him he kept close by was far away, screaming in some long-gone corner he couldn't hear anymore.

"If you…" He started, the words mushing together and falling out without control. "If you be honest with me… I'll be honest with you."

"Link you're drunk."

"It's empty…" He could feel himself tremble slightly, the intoxication amplifying feelings he had tried to bury within himself. "It's so empty in there, and no one understands… They don't understand what he was like, and I- I can try to tell them but they won't know. They won't really know what's missing, they won't know what I've put away so I don't have to be reminded, they won't know how it feels to go through every day wondering why we're still living here in the dark when the only source of light I ever had has gone out and is rotting away under the ground."

"Link-"

"They don't know that sometimes I can still hear him, that simple things dig him back up and haunt me, that every day I wonder what the fuck I'm still dragging this body around for- that I'm desperately trying to find some reason to stay here when everything I ever gave a shit about is over there…" Link let his grip on the red head's shirt loosen, his breath shaking with emotion. "I can't tell them that I came here because even though you've hurt me, that hurt is the only time I feel… Feel…" His legs gave out beneath him and the blonde felt small and crumpled as his knees rested in the ashes on the tiled floor. "It's the only time I feel alive…"

Lavi removed himself from the table he was sat upon and knelt on Link's level, though the blonde was keeping his blurry vision away from the man he'd compulsively spilled his soul onto. Sturdier hands held gently onto his fore arms, pressuring him to stand back up.

"I told you not to drink anymore." The red head had a soft look on his face, one that Link hadn't become accustomed to seeing. He allowed Lavi to assist him in standing up, Link being supported primarily by the man's arms holding him upright. "I get that. All of it, really- I do."

Link felt weak, both emotionally and physically, though it was hard to be bothered while his thoughts swam in every direction other than a straight one.

"Ok, I'll be honest with you." The red head murmured. "I never thought you'd actually talk to me at Allen's funeral. I thought you'd walk away or snub me off like you always did. But you stopped and talked to me for some reason, not much, but more than ever before. I don't know why I kept thinking about that. A month after that I think is when everything just kind of drove me crazy…" The red head's look darkened and both men couldn't meet eyes. "I tried to off myself, aspirin, bath tub, razors and all- as fucking cliché as it sounds. But my dumb ass left the door unlocked and someone found me and next thing I knew I was in the hospital and still here. I was so pissed off, I couldn't handle it. I didn't get why I was being dragged through, day after day, it just didn't make sense to me. That night I was drinking… And I thought, I thought if I took something from you maybe I'd get something back."

Link stumbled back a bit, still letting the red head hold him up. He felt as though if he let go he'd fall further than the floor, somewhere deeper down below he couldn't fathom.

"I'm sorry." The red head's voice was barely a whisper. "I don't… I don't know what the hell I was thinking… I just didn't think I'd… That you…"

"It's... ok." Link fumbled to find words adequate to reconcile the red head. "I mean- It's not ok. Don't do that to anyone else, but I'm not mad."

"You should be."

"I should be…" Link said it more to himself than Lavi. Even with his heart leaking from his pores he couldn't find the emotion any longer to be angry. He couldn't phrase why, every sensible part of him knew he should be angry and knew he shouldn't have left his house to see Lavi. But he had, and he was here, and he'd finally been able to set some of the words free that had been clawing at his insides. The one thing he had started to notice was that Lavi was erratic; the man was downright cruel at times, stubbornly kind at others, snarky to a fault one moment, insulting in another, and soft in the next. Link had always been a stable center of control, knowing the next step before it came and being able to logically balance what would be the best option to move forward. He was in murky waters he couldn't see through right now, he couldn't see what came next after this or if land was even in sight. Someone as unpredictable as Lavi didn't need to see anything- he just acted out in random motions and whatever happened stuck.

The blonde fell forward, no longer able to keep in standing position as the poisons in his blood stream sapped him of his energy. Lavi caught him upright, moving him so he could collapse backward back onto the sofa.

"Woah, I think you should sit down, man. That's enough honesty for now."

Link blinked against the red and the room as at span out of control. "I don't feel so well…"

"No shit. Try not to vomit on my floor or couch, the bathroom's over there but I ain't gonna hold your ponytail for ya."

Link waved him off, losing control of any grip he still had on controlled consciousness. "No, I'm… I'm good…"

The red head huffed before lifting the blonde's legs onto the couch and positioning him on his side. "Don't sleep on your back, you'll choke on your vomit if it does end up happening."

"Huh…" Link felt limp, focusing on his breath heavy with drink and unable to keep his sight focused on any single thing for too long. "Thanks."

"Idiot." The red head sat on the side of the couch where Link's feet settled. "You think you'll remember any of this or are you that black out drunk?"

"I'll remember."

"Next time you or I show up at the other's door you should consider taking a shower at least twenty-four hours before hand."

"Shut up." Link mumbled, almost incoherently into the couch cushion. "I did shower this morning."

"You smell like booze."

"Shhh… Just… Just shut up…" Link attempted to wave an arm at the man, but it fell limply back to his side. He felt a heavy blackness closing in on what was left of his spinning vision.

"Two Spots."

"Uh?"

"I'm sort of ok with the fact that you barged into my house drunk as shit in the middle of the night."

"Huh…"

Link closed his eyes and let the swirling darkness envelope him and spun out in the swirling depths of unconsciousness.

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 **Author's Note: I see you readers, and I appreciate you. As a side note I have a deep intellectual need for Howard Link vs Ancient Aliens.  
** **As seen here:** **/242013587**


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